When I reflect on my best days and worst days of showing up as a leader, mother, person, it’s the feelings that immediately come to me versus the specific things I’ve said or done. On my best days I show-up energized, engaged, listening, curious, holding space for others, supportive, encouraging (even inspiring), and contributing in meaningful ways. I can feel the energy and connectedness in my body and it shows on my face. I lean in and am fully present. On my worst days I feel it too. I show-up distracted, stressed, frustrated, and judgmental. My worst days sound horrible, but thankfully I am aware and can accept that I am human, bound to have such days, and I can choose to limit the negative impact they have on myself and on others.
“When you say ‘yes’ to others make sure you are not saying ‘no’ to yourself.”
– Paulo Coehlo
If I’m so aware of the difference then why on earth do I allow such days to occur? Well, it happens slowly then suddenly. I take on more, work later. Take on more, give time to others. Take on more, absorb the emotions of others. Take on more, ruminate, then hit a wall. It’s during cycles like this that I forget about me; I forget about the importance of self-care and it gets pushed aside, only to be replaced by all that other stuff and boy, it’s exhausting. Let’s face it, I am a human being, so who am I to think I can keep going non-stop like the Energizer bunny – and by the way, even the Energizer bunny has to stop for someone to change its batteries. So think of it this way, self-care is like recharging the batteries and this happens differently for everyone.
My Self-Care Routine
In its most basic form, self-care is taking time to intentionally improve my mental state and overall well-being by recharging my energy. As an introvert, this means creating space just for me to be and do whatever feels energizing. It might involve reading a book, going for a walk, cleaning the house, taking a nap, soaking in the bath, snuggling with my pets, looking at the garden, listening to the birds chirp, or simply being very still while doing nothing at all. For me, it’s about alone time and choosing what feels right for me and only me. This is just my routine when I notice the need to recharge and reconnect with myself so that I can be my best, for myself and for others. It is not selfish to carve out time for myself because the benefits of doing this cascade far beyond me and the moment.
Self-care – whatever form it takes – is like a glass of water, a nutritious meal, a challenging workout. It nourishes the body and fuels the brain. That isn’t at all selfish, it’s energy sustaining.
The Takeaway
The next time you push aside something that nourishes and fuels you for something that depletes your energy, please pause and remember what every airline around the world says when a plane takes flight. “Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead area. Please place the mask over your own mouth and nose before assisting others.” Stay attuned with what you are feeling and watch for signs that your “cabin is losing pressure” then put your “mask” on so that you remain focused, capable, and present in everyday life. You’re important and people depend on you; practice self-care and show-up as your best self.
– Melissa
