I’m the kind of person who likes a little bit of stress, especially at work. This is because it helps me focus and get important things done. I’m notorious for letting things sit for a while before I begin so that I feel the thrill of getting on with it and creating something valuable just in time. That’s one kind of stress, a very controlled and self-induced stress. However, what happens if we zoom out further and consider the stress that comes from taking on too many things. Spreading ourselves too thin? Worse yet, consider the stress that results from regretting things already passed or worrying about things that haven’t even happened yet. Now THIS is unhealthy stress.
“All of life’s conflicts are between letting go and holding on, opening into the present or clinging to the past, expansion or contraction.”– Cheri Huber
Last year, I spent a few days at Grail Springs Retreat Centre for Wellbeing and I attended a workshop about meditation. Before we learned practices of meditation, the guest speaker talked about the contrast between stress and relaxation. I feverishly took notes.
Stress
When we are under extreme stress there is a physical and mental reaction that presents in the form of contraction. Physically, the body tenses, organs and muscles contract. For me, it’s the clenching of my jaw, the tightening of my stomach, the hunch of my shoulders. For the record, none of these feel good. Mentally, perspective narrows and actions fall to past tendencies. Essentially, the contraction – both physically and mentally – creates rigidity, an inability to adapt and change.
Relaxed
When we are relaxed and free from unhealthy stress there are notable differences that present in the form of expansion. When I take a slow deep breath and let out a long exhale, I instantly feel the lososening of my jaw, the calm in my stomach, and the release of tension in my shoulders. When I am relaxed, the space my body holds is naturally expanded and comfortable. In a relaxed state, our brain also creates space; space for other perspectives, narratives, and ideas. When I am open to these, I become creative and able to see what is possible.
If we are to lead as our best selves then it is incumbent on us to be present, open, and accepting so that we may leverage the diversity of thought and experiences among us. Rigidity is restrictive; it limits potential and disengages the very people we rely on for driving purposeful outcomes. Early signs of stress present physically in our bodies. Listen to your body and consciously choose ways to move from the rigidity that, if unaddressed, will prevent the creativity required by so many of today’s problems and opportunities to generate the best possible outcomes.