Love, gratitude, compassion; joy, cheerful, tranquil; surprise, moved, touched. These are examples of emotions that we human beings tend to feel good about. Because they feel good they are easy to share and to express openly with others. Nice. And what about other examples, the ones less acknowledged and certainly not celebrated? You know the ones. Anger, irritable, resentful; fear, insecure, anxious; sadness, disappointed, regretful. These are examples of emotions we often categorize as bad. Good versus bad, it’s like a Marvel Comics movie during which we are all rooting for the good guys. Life, however, is not a comic and we are not superhuman. Emotions scale the full spectrum of feelings from total elation to downright nasty.
“Whether in pursuit of a progressive career, raising a resilient family, leaving the world a better place, or all of the aforementioned, discomfort that comes with our uncomfortable emotions is the price of admission to a life worthwhile.” – Melissa Law
Sometimes I’ve taken on the practice of bottling my so-called bad emotions. Holding them in, disguising them with a smile, a nod, or an “I’m fine” only to erupt like a volcano when the bottle was full and the lid could no longer contain them. My husband will attest to the warning signal I used to wave on a big flag that said “I’m gonna lose it”. My mother is afraid of dying. She worries about how she will go when the time comes and tells me regularly that she doesn’t want to leave me. I don’t mean to be insensitive when I say this, so please don’t judge…The fear, dread, and worry won’t matter when she’s gone because she will have left this world. Dead people don’t feel emotions. You may be wondering where I’m going with this morbid tale. Thanks for your patience. My point is that I am not dead. I am a living, breathing, human walking this earth among other humans. Therefore, I must anticipate the discomfort that comes with experiencing bad emotions. Ignoring them – or bottling them – just won’t cut it because I am alive and this is life.
Other times, I’ve adopted the practice of brooding, swimming in a cesspool of contagious emotions that fed off each other, threatening to pull me down along with anyone in close proximity. Gross, I know, but it’s a hard truth I have learned to acknowledge. It’s challenging to look up and step into a purposeful life when I’m swimming around with hostility, dismay, and guilt. And what about those around me? What if they dip their toe in the cesspool? I’m guessing that if we spend too long there together, we will metaphorically drown in emotion together, leaving the life we’re meant to live on dry ground, untouched, unfulfilled. Brooding, as tempting as it sounds, just doesn’t work either.
By now, I’m sure you’ve either stopped reading or have concluded that this post is not intended to be uplifting. My intention is to be honest, raw, and truthful in hopes of acknowledging that we all experience uncomfortable emotions, day in and day out, and they are not taboo. We are human and emotions don’t discriminate, they are rooted in lived experiences and internal narratives regardless of age, ethnicity, gender, or disability. Whether in pursuit of a progressive career, raising a resilient family, leaving the world a better place, or all of the aforementioned, discomfort that comes with our uncomfortable emotions is the price of admission to a life worthwhile.
In next week’s blog, I will explore where emotions, if allowed to run wild, can lead. It’s a path I have traveled many times.
– Melissa Law
