Ground rules that free you: The Four Agreements

A fellow coach whom I’d met through the benefits of networking, recommended Don Miguel Ruiz’s book to me in early 2020. After reading it over a weekend (yes, it’s that easy to read), I googled to see when this book was first published. 1997. Hmmm, I went 23 years without the simple sage advice packed into this book. Pity because it’s the simple things we often overlook. Nonetheless, I finally read the book, reflected quite deeply, and changed how I experience life. Wow! I love feeling the effects that come from a mindset shift and I am in awe of how and when this can happen.

 

“Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally… Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.”
– Don Miguel Ruiz

 

In short, the four agreements are (1) be impeccable with your word – words have the power of weapons and can yield permanent damage to a person or relationship; (2) don’t take anything personally – other people did not wake-up and devise a master plan to tick me off; (3) don’t make assumptions – this is my weakness and I need reminding of it regularly; and (4) always do your best – my best looks different on any given day, and that is a-okay as long as it’s my best.

 

 

A few of my favourite things about this book include:

  • It’s a very easy read – pour a glass of your favourite beverage and settle in for a weekend read that leaves you thinking about how you choose to experience life.
  • The four agreements are utterly simple and nothing dramatically new, however, I never really sat  with them until I read the book.
  • You can apply the four agreements in everything you do, generating relief and fulfillment without a bunch of ‘drama’.
  • Simply reminding myself of an agreement I haven’t honoured is enough to recentre and refocus myself. Mixed with humility, at least I can be human by acknowledging and owning my choices so that we can all move forward again.

If you’re looking for deeper fulfillment and have yet to read The Four Agreements, may I suggest you grab a copy, but don’t just read it, be sure to reflect, look for the resonance, and change whatever will bring you a greater sense of joy and meaning.

– Melissa Law