A few weeks ago, I attended training about workplace respect and civility. It was a session I could certainly lean into, reflecting on a few experiences I have had with leaders who might have benefited from such a discussion. While I’ve been fortunate to work with many wonderful leaders, I have also had the displeasure of witnessing some poor leadership in action, directly and indirectly. If you read last week’s blog about Picking your Battles, you might be wondering if I’m starting to speak out of both sides of my mouth. I don’t think so because what I am inferring here is that leaders at all levels need to be aware of and advocate for civil and respectful behaviours in the workplace.
“The standard you walk past is the standard you accept.”
– Lieutenant General David Morrison
Given the number of people and companies who embrace the value of respect, I will assume this one is straightforward, it’s the concept of civility that perhaps isn’t as broadly understood, modeled, and advocated for; it is here where I feel leaders at all levels can play an active role. All too often, myself included, leaders have overlooked or let slide those small behaviours that can impact a team member’s experience over time. Workplace incivility can involve behaviour that doesn’t necessarily have negative or harmful intent, however, it may violate norms associated with mutual respect or be interpreted as antisocial. Considering this, let’s give thought to some of the behaviours we’ve witnessed – perhaps without too much thought or action – by someone who:
- Doesn’t acknowledge others as they arrive with a simple “good morning”, look up when they receive such a greeting or ignores any greetings altogether;
- Makes an ‘example’ of another person in an email or meeting, drawing everyone to their shortcomings;
- Emails with a pointed negative connotation with a copy to all the world to read;
- Regularly interrupts others or dismisses the ideas of others;
- Takes things personally and becomes verbally emotional with another person in a targeted way;
- Does other work, talks with others, or sends text messages throughout a meeting when others are speaking; or
- Centers others out or makes belittling remarks.
Have you experienced or observed any of these examples? Did you speak with the person who exhibited these behaviours? Perhaps you meant to, but too much time passed, and it no longer seemed relevant? Look, no one is perfect. I would like to respond “no” to these questions, but I’d be lying if I did. So I’d rather be honest and admit to my own shortcomings as a step in the direction of self-awareness and situational self-awareness. I need to do a better job at this as a leader to consistently ensure a safe and open space is held for all whom I work with.
I continue to try my best, which means even when I miss some of these behaviours, I can accept that I didn’t quite live up to my role as a leader because acceptance is the prerequisite to change. From there I choose to try harder to be more aware and to advocate for civility.
– Melissa Law
