Throughout my life, I would often hear my dad say, “you have to pick your battles”. He’s always
been full of solid, sage advice. I was reminded yet again of these words the other day while
waiting to board an airplane. The gate was in a small area. There were hundreds of
passengers waiting to board a full flight. I carefully looked at the signage, found the line-up for
my applicable zone, double checked with another passenger I was in the correct line, then
patiently waited. As boarding progressed, other passengers began to approach and I was
rather astonished to see just how many people nonchalantly joined the line, but not from the
back. Several people simply cut into the line ahead of me, some behind, and another right
beside me. At first, I felt agitated and even offered to help one person determine if they were in
the correct line before showing them where the end of the line was. She nodded and
proceeded to cut into the line behind me. Needless to say, a look was exchanged between
myself and the passengers who were behind me. My attention then turned to the person who
had now joined the line beside me, clearly bypassing the line-up. Now flabbergasted, I started
to wonder what on earth people were thinking. That got me thinking.
“You only have so much emotional energy each day. Don’t fight battles that don’t matter.”
– Joel Osteen
What was it that was annoying me? Well, I value politeness, courtesy, ultimately respect for
others. Ah yes, a value of mine wasn’t showing up – at least from my perspective – by some of
the people around me. So, then I started to consider what they might be thinking as they cut
into the line to board the airplane. While I will never know, I am quite certain they weren’t
mischievously concocting ways to annoy me; in fact, they weren’t likely thinking about me at all.
Whatever drove their behaviour, it had nothing to do with me. Therefore, I decided to stay the
course, focus on the end goal of boarding the plane, and let go of my annoyance. What would I
really gain by making a fuss? The plane wasn’t leaving until we were all securely and safely
seated, together.
Leaders need to apply good judgment in the work that they do. In some cases, such judgment
may be the defining factor that earns the trust of a team member or builds credibility with a
board of directors. In other cases, it could be the difference between resources well used or
behaviours lacking integrity being stopped before loss is incurred. Either way, judgment is a
decision in action. It is an example of leader character. Sometimes we must challenge the
perspectives of others and guide a decision toward an optimal outcome, and outcome that is
well rounded, equitable, and fair. Sometimes we need to consider that there are indeed many
different perspectives, styles, and needs that really are harmless and don’t create outcomes that
are at the detriment of others. In the big scheme of things, they carry only as little or as big of
an impact that we decide to personally make of it. In these times, I recall the words of my dad
and try to apply judgment in picking my battles.
Being a leader doesn’t mean having the loudest voice, the last say, or all the right answers. I’m
not suggesting that leaders should look past behaviours that are uncivil, disrespectful, or lacking
integrity. I am simply highlighting that leading requires energy and we should put our energy
into valuable efforts that yield the best possible outcomes. Afterall, it’s not only our energy, but
also that of the teams we lead. Battles, so to speak, drain energy. Energy is not infinite. So,
save that energy for showing up and acting in a way that matters most in each circumstance.
– Melissa Law
