Family reigns: The Conscious Parent

 

This one is for all the parents who have tried to be the best parents they can be, yet still feel like they are missing something because their child or children are troubled, moody, struggling in school, getting into trouble, lashing out, sneaking around, hanging with the wrong crowd, doing things you don’t approve of, not listening to you, and so on. Parenting is hard and we are, after all, only human. When I read this book, my eldest daughter was seeking support from a therapeutic boarding school. I didn’t know how to help her. Through a parallel learning process (child and parents) I learned – with a jaw dropping OMG realization – that I wasn’t broken, I just needed to shift my perspective in order to create more space for both of us.

 

“Relinquishing control allows us to engage life from the standpoint of seeking to learn.”

– Shefali Tsabary

 

Many of the key learnings in this book are similar to others I have highlighted so far, just more specific to the experiences of a parent. Even if your child or children are doing well, there are still nuggets of learning to be gleaned from this book. I have dogeared several pages, reading them again and again over time as a reminder.

 

 

Some of my favorite aspects of Shefali Tsabary’s book, ‘The Conscious Parent,’ include:

  • Acceptance is not passive, it is absolutely active and essential to growth and fulfillment. The most important thing we can accept as parents is the as-is-ness of our environment, our child/children, ourselves. Getting triggered is to be resistant to whatever may be happening.
  • The past conditioning of how I was raised does not have to be passed down to my children. Living is not a cookie cutter experience from generation to generation, or person to person.
  • My children are in a constant state of becoming. They will, inevitably, develop their own set of values and I ought not expect them to mirror mine.

Through my own transformation as a person and a parent, I have been able to create precious space for my daughters and myself. There is nothing healthy about being enmeshed. When I stepped back, became more accepting, and let go of an embedded need to control, I became better at truly supporting and empowering my children.

– Melissa Law