I have an internal narrative that chimes in numerous times throughout the day, every time I experience tasks, interactions, or interruptions. This narrative also pops up when I listen to or read the news. It’s quite exhausting because my brain is already full trying to navigate life and work, the last thing I need is a nagging internal monologue rattling off in my head. Yet, there it is. Perhaps you’ve experienced this too? It’s a safe bet for me to guess you’re nodding in agreement because neuroscience will back me up on this


It’s like I was a remote control car and my thoughts were gripping the handheld controller, adeptly steering me right toward a big ditch.

– Melissa Law

 

While the narrative varies from person to person, it generates thoughts like the following.

  • He has no idea what he’s talking about. He should stop talking.
  • She always does this, leaves it for me to do.
  • This traffic is terrible. It’s ruining my day.
  • I have no idea what I’m doing and people must know that I’m a fraud.
  • I’m going to embarrass myself.
  • If I don’t do this myself, it won’t get done (… the way I want … right now).
  • I’m best to say nothing; I don’t want to cause a brouhaha.
  • I don’t want to do this, but I have to because they want/need me to.
  • Anything less than perfection is sloppy or incomplete.
  • I just can’t deal with this right now.
  • I can’t fail at this.

This is only a sample of thoughts that can easily spark an internal narrative for myself. The risk here is that once it begins, there is a natural progression to believe these thoughts to be pronouncements of the truth. If I believe these to be fact rather than simply the thoughts that they are, I am at risk of engaging the narrative and generating emotions of significant force – a force headed straight toward unhelpful reactions.  I’ve been there and done that. It doesn’t feel all that wonderful when such thoughts take control. It’s like I was a remote control car and my thoughts were gripping the handheld controller, adeptly steering me right toward a big ditch. Thankfully, humans are resilient. I have been humbled and have learned. Let’s chat about those nasty emotions next week.

– Melissa Law